Markets Went Bananas Yesterday. Thank Trump (Sorta).

The Markets and Trump

So… yesterday was one of those market days that makes you double-check your brokerage app like, “Wait, is this real?” Everything went green. Like, really green. Your dusty old ETFs? Green. That speculative tech stock you forgot you owned? Also green.

Let’s break it down.

The Dow jumped 434 points. The S&P said “me too” and added almost 80 points. And the Nasdaq? That drama queen sprinted up 339.50 points, closing above 18,000 for the first time in a couple weeks. It's like Wall Street collectively shotgunned an energy drink.

What Lit the Fuse?

Why did the markets flip? Trump.

Yep, that Trump. Word dropped that his whole tariff thing might not be as chaotic as people feared. Instead of throwing tariffs around like confetti at a rally, he might actually go targeted. Precision-style.

And Wall Street loves the word “targeted.” It’s like calling a horror movie “suspenseful”—still scary, but a little more bearable.

Investors heard the news and basically said, “Cool, let’s go risk-on.”

Tech Was on Fire

Nvidia? On a heater. Tesla? Still knows how to make headlines. Tech stocks led the charge, with the Nasdaq moonwalking into the sunset.

Basically, if it runs on semiconductors, AI hype, or Elon's vibes—it probably had a solid day.

Yields Climbed, But No One Cared

Treasury yields went up too. Normally that’s a buzzkill, since rising yields = higher borrowing costs. But the market just… ignored it? Like it was background noise at a party where everyone's too busy dancing.

Even the dollar was acting funky. It rose against the yen and yuan, dropped against the euro (thanks, Europe, for the strong business activity data), and generally looked confused. Understandable.

Inflation? Recession? Zzzzz…

Sure, inflation’s still around. Economic growth? A little sketchy. But investors weren’t interested in that narrative yesterday. The vibe was full send.

It’s like everyone decided to pretend the economy was fine just long enough to hit “buy.”

Heads-Up: April 2 Could Flip the Script

Now look—we’re not in the clear just yet. Trump’s full tariff plan is expected to drop on April 2. And if it turns out he’s going full scorched-earth mode? This whole rally could unwind faster than a meme stock on earnings day.

So yeah, enjoy the green. But don’t assume this is the start of a new bull run.

Because markets? They’ve got the attention span of a goldfish on caffeine.